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5 steps for defusing conflict

  • An angry co-worker confronts you. He’s red in the face and trying to pick a fight. Gain control of the situation by following these steps:
  • Respond with a positive opening statement. Example: “I understand we have a problem. I’m sure we can work it out.”
  • State the problem assertively, unemotionally and respectfully. Example: “Let me repeat what you just told me.”
  • Ask for clarification. Example: “That’s what I heard you say. Have I got it straight?”
  • Brainstorm options. Example: “How can we work this out?”
  • Clarify responsibilities and deadlines. Example: “I’ll call the customer right away, and you’ll talk to …… tomorrow.”
  • Suggestion: Don’t assume the problem’s solved just because you agreed on a solution. Arrange to meet in the near future—no more than 24 hours—to make sure the resolution sticks.
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How do you benefit from the training courses and seminars you attend?

  • Define your goals for attending this course or seminar. Why do you want to attend? What do you hope to learn? Place a  bookmark next to the topics that interest you through the course program? What are the most important questions that you want or want to ask?
  • Go to the course with an open mind and positive thinking that if you learn a new idea, it will suffice to improve your performance
  • Share with others and do not listen, as participation in exercises leads to excellent results
  • Summarize the most important points you learned during the course or seminar and try to do so within 48 hours of completing the course
  • Share what you’ve learned, as the shortest way to learn is education
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How do you gain the respect of your manager?

  • Do you feel that your boss is not relying on you for important matters? Do you feel that you are not trusted by your manager? Are you looking for ways to gain his attention, interest, and respect? Try the following:
  • Be observant, not a complainer. The manager hates the most is complaining even if the employee has a right to what he says. Try as much as possible to get the job done, not make excuses and complain
  • Constantly improve your skills. If the manager feels that you are part of the solutions and that you are a helper in the problems that you face through your job, then you will be acceptable to him because there is no manager looking for a non-productive employee in most of the time
  • Think positively. Mistakes are contained in any work, and you manage to make your mistakes a big mistake in itself. Do not try to hide the mistakes because if discovered by the manager, this leads to a loss of credibility and respect for him at the same time
  • Be accepted by others. Success does not depend only on your success on your own, and most of the time your positive relationships with team members lead to the great respect of your managers.
  • Important note: I have put a sentence “most of the time” because sometimes you encounter managers who do not like the employee to stand out. Even if he develops himself, they consider this a great challenge for them, and there are also managers who do not want successful and efficient employees because this reduces their status and steals the spotlight from them. In general, managers are looking for productive and competent employees 
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Prevent conflict diplomatically

To increase cooperation among co-workers, replace conflict-provoking statements with more tactful language. Here’s how:


Don’t say: Say:
“Do this”“Here’s what we need to do.”
“You’re wrong.”“Why do you say that?”
“I disagree.” “I see things a little differently.”
“You’re confusing me.”“I’m confused.”
“Who did it?”“What happened?”
“That’s not my job.”“Let’s find out who can help with this problem.”

عبارات تفيدك في حوارك مع مديرك

احيانا كثيرة يتكلم معك مديرك بطريقة تجعلك غير قادر على الرد او تجعلك تلتزم الصمت تماما. جرب هذه الاجابات اذا قال لك المدير:

“كان من المفترض ان تعرف”:

الرد الجيد: “لو كنت اعلم ما اعلمه الآن حضرة المدير كنت بالطبع تصرفت بشكل مختلف، واعدك ان هذا الأمر لن يحصل بعد الآن ولكن اطلب منكم ان تزودوني بالمعلومات الكافية مسبقا.

“انا اعمل بهذه الطريقة منذ فترة طويلة”:

الرد الجيد:” انا متفهم لهذا الأمر حضرة المدير ولكن انا ارى انك غيرت امورا كثيرة في الشركة نحو الأفضل فما رأيك لو جربنا هذه الطريقة….”

“لا تعطني اية اعذار فقط حقق لي ما اريد”

الرد الجيد:”انه لمن دواعي سروري وواجبي ان احقق هذه النتيجة ولكن من واجبي ايضا ان الفت انتباهكم الى بعض المعوقات وهي …أو “اذا كنت تريدني المضي قدما في هذا الأمر بالرغم من هذه المعوقات فما رأيك ان نجرب الآتي…..”

“ليس هذا الذي طلبته منك”

كثير من المدراء يعتقدون انه يجب ان تقرأ أفكارهم وتحللها دون ان يناقشوا معك اي امر. الرد الجيد:”لقد طلبت مني X,Y,Z ولكني الاحظ الآن انك طلبت مني A & B ِسانجز المهمة على هذا الأساس..”